


to Serve Man

by Dovey



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Haruno Sakura-centric, Missing-Nin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-29 02:06:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13917093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dovey/pseuds/Dovey
Summary: Kizashi Haruno was a civilian man with a simple shop, from a civilian family of simple farmers; Mebuki Haruno was a missing nin from the land of Rain. Sakura took after both her parents.“You owe yourself to three things, in order: the ones you love, yourself, and then your village.”--Sakura's mother is an actual character with a personality and history, who influences her daughters moral compass and lifestyle, because if you're gonna make the girl NOT an orphan we should actually know shit about her parents, @kishimoto.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write about sakura getting interacted with a woman who's important to her without the worry of kishimotos sometimes super weird way of writing ladies interacting. most of my stories are about sakura developing into her own type of person around the wave arc, but i wanted an excuse to write about her already having a unique perspective. Hence: this au. She's still going to be a preteen girl with dumb crushes and silly, exagerated habits, but she's going to have an underlying drive like all the other (male) characters seem to be given.

Kizashi Haruno was a civilian man with a simple shop, from a civilian family of simple farmers.

Mebuki Haruno was a missing nin from the land of Rain.

Sakura learned from them both.

Her father taught her that sharing was important, to treat others with kindness, and that boys had cooties but could still make pretty good friends.

Her mother taught her the importance of morals and that difficult choices where inevitable. She gave her daughter a guiding principle that Sakura took as her own like a duck to water:

“You owe yourself to three things, in order: the ones you love, yourself, and then your village.”

It wasn’t the usual lessons a child should learn, not even in a shinobi village, but Mebuki was not an ordinary woman, and she had no intentions of letting her daughter grow up to be cannon fodder.

“Never serve the village first- it’s worth comes from the protection it affords the ones you love.” Mebuki explained, with a voice that hinted at a life of experience Sakura was too young to learn about. “If you are ever asked to put the village before the people in it… run from it, burn it down, whatever it takes. Loyalty is earned, dear, not deserved.”   

Sakura had grown up with her mother’s page in the bingo book memorized. The Mad Bitch of Rain, Mebuki Mizuka, B-level.

“Your hair means you won’t be able to blend in easy like I did. So if you ever end up in this book- aim for _flee-on-sight._ ” Mebuki informed her staunchly.

Sakura took this to heart, and threw herself into her studies. Kisashi didn’t understand her fevor, but he was happy to help her review the texts she’d snuck out from the library, and even happier to make her snacks to eat while studying.

“My daughter is growing up to be such a clever shinobi!” He would tease, ruffling her hair and pressing a kiss to her exhausted brow when she stayed up too late studying.

She wanted to throw herself into the academy spars with just as much enthusiasm, but found it much harder to keep up with the clan kids. Her mother didn’t teach her how to fight, but to survive, and when it came to choosing between conditioning or reading, Sakura would always pick the latter. Mebuki didn’t understand it- she had always been for instincts, not book learning- but she was happy to support it. Her daughter would learn the importance of physical strength eventually, and in the meantime, accumulating knowledge was no poor way to spend her time.

So Sakura lost her spars and aced her tests, and no one seemed to question her drive. No one seemed eager to support it, either, but Sakura supposed that was the price she payed for focusing on future successes instead of standing out now with some flashy, if utterly useless, abilities. Besides: she was still a child, and she'd rather have the interest of a cute boy than an old shinobi, given the choice. 

Her parents armed her with all the knowledge they had, a wide scope of life lessons and generational knowledge that Sakura absorbed as eagerly as a sapling took in sunlight.

 At four, Sakura’s father taught her how to garden. He taught her about inky soil, about which plants replenish the nutrients sucked out over the years by greedier plants. The importance of the changing seasons and the changing winds.

Sakura grew used to dirty feet and grass-stained hands, the warm sun on her back and the flow of even warmer conversation with her father.

At five, her mother taught her how to hunt.

“But it’s just a bunny!” Sakura wailed, considering the frightened thing in her mother’s grasp. Mebuki sighed, then kneeled besides her daughter to place the kunai into her tiny palm.

“We have to eat, Sakura. A rabbit’s life is nothing compared to yours, so kill it, eat it, and be strong.”

Still, the girl hesitated, even as her grip grew firmer on the kunai, and Mebuki considered her for a moment.

“I’ll be eating too, Sakura. You have to sacrifice for the ones you love, neh? If you don’t want your mother to go hungry, you have to give her something to eat.”

Sakura nodded, finally, and took the rabbit from her mother and slit it’s throat quickly, cleanly as she could. Mebuki patted her on the head. “Good job. Now, let me show you how to clean and cook it.”

 

At ten, Sakura learned what it felt like to kill a man.

Mebuki had asked her if she was certain, truly _certain,_ that she wanted to be a shinobi. That she understood what it entailed. Sakura had promised she did, and so Mebuki spirited her away to the edge of Konoha and took her to a man who had a set of gold teeth and a sneer burned into his very being.

She had asked him how much he would pay, for a girl as _cute_ as her daughter, and he’d offered. Then she’d held him in place, like that frightened rabbit from so long ago, and looked her daughter in the eyes.

“they won’t all be as easy as this.” She told her, and Sakura nodded. She had grown up on the kinds of stories civilians never spoke of, and Shinobi only shared amongst themselves. Mebuki didn’t believe in coddling youth in a land where war could make an adult out of anyone, and Sakura had known, distantly, that this would eventually have to happen.

She could only be thankful that her mother was there to make things easier, that first time, with a reassuring look and a morally clear choice.

She sliced a clean, even line, and her mother helped her clean up her vomit when she was done. They burned the body, and Sakura cried, and they didn’t eat roast rabbit for a month. Sakura loved her mother very much, and did not argue when that month came to an end and she was served a plate of rabbit for dinner.

Her life was worth more than a rabbits, and more than that man’s. She would eat, and be strong, and protect the ones she cared about. She could only hope her classmates could have so simple a path for themselves.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the ino sakura rivalry but more hardcore, and then the bell test! you know, the bell test, that thing that's totally not in every naruto fanfic ever, right? right? ri

Mebuki took quick notice of how quiet her daughter was being, compared to her usual chatterbug self. The girl was normally impossible to keep silent, talking endlessly about the exciting adventures with her best friend Ino from the day. She waited, patiently, for Sakura to share what was upsetting her, and wasn’t disappointed. Kizashi had raised their daughter to be communicative to a fault, after all.

“Me an’ Ino both like the same boy.” Sakura admitted, pumping her legs hanging over the kitchen stool as a distraction from the unfortunate realization.

Mebuki hummed in acknowledgement, stirring the pot of steaming soup slowly as she thoughtfully added seasoning. It was about time for Sakura to be getting to that age, but she’d hoped her daughter would have a little longer.

 “Would you kill Ino for him?” She asked gently, as she sprinkled a dash more salt into the mixture.

Sakura balked at the idea immediately, remembering the vicious feeling of slitting the poor rabbit’s throat that month back they had gone camping. “No!” She exclaimed, gripping the stool tightly even at the mere suggestion. She loved Ino! Ino was nice and told good stories and protected Sakura from the bullies.

Mebuki turned her focus to Sakura, pointing at her daughter with the end of her spoon. “Alright, then would you kill him for Ino?”

Sakura was silent for a few seconds, because she loved Sasuke and his pretty eyes and nice mother and sweet voice, but she had loved Ino’s kind words and pretty hair and light laugh much longer.

“If you had to, Sakura.” Mebuki pushed, refusing to let the matter slide. It might not always be a hypothetical, and she wanted her daughter ready for that day when it came.

“Yes, mother.” Sakura admitted, staring at the ground in defeat. Mebuki used the end of the spoon to lift her daughter’s chin back up, meeting her eyes.

“Good.” Mebuki told her, and gave her a smile so proud that Sakura couldn’t help but return it. “Never be ashamed of being loyal, Sakura. Love is worthless if you can toss it aside.”

“Yes, mother!” Sakura agreed, much happier this time, and snuck a lick at the spoon to her mother’s amusement.

“That’s my girl.” Mebuki said affectionately, even as she tapped her on the head with the spoon in punishment for the stolen taste.

 Unfortunately, Sakura found that other little girls did not view the world as she did- or, to her great first heartbreak, she found that Ino chose Sasuke over her.

Sakura did not grow up understanding _small truths,_ that Ino might like Sasuke and love her and never consider things in a grand scheme of life and death. That little girls have ever shifting priorities that don’t hinge on life or death, and that while Ino didn’t want a rival for her crush, it didn’t mean the girl wanted her dead. This was not how Sakura saw it, and Mebuki didn’t know how to explain something she had never learned herself.

 Sometimes, people are complex and impossible to understand, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. This is a peacetime truth that Sakura cannot, will not ever, grasp, because she was raised by a woman who viewed that peacetime itself as a lie.

So Sakure throws herself into chasing a boy who cost her the first friend she’d ever made, and she rearranges her list. Ino is no longer a top priority, and it makes her weep to do it, but she has to be logical above all else. If Ino doesn’t want her loyalties, Sakura will place them where they are welcome.

At the very least, even if Sasuke ignores her and finds her annoying, he doesn’t seem to like anyone else better. Sakura can live with that. You can’t get hurt if you don’t expect anything in the first place.  

\--

Sakura is 13 years old, sitting on a rooftop, and trying very hard to remember every word out of her teammates mouths. Sasuke, because she’s happy to take any scraps of information about him she can get; Naruto, because he’s going to be her teammate, which means he’ll be important to her, if what she’s witnessed about genin teams proves true. She might’ve found him aggravating before, but now his wellbeing and happiness is going to be important to her, so she reluctantly accepts that she’s going to be eating a lot of ramen, apparently.

At least his goal of becoming Hokage is a reasonable one; she wouldn’t mind serving a duplicitous village so much if it’s shady government is lead by a friend. She’ll just have to push him to focus on that, as opposed to his food issues and his… crush. Definitely focus less on that.

Sasuke’s simple, empty answer is even more useful; it’s lovely to have a boy so devoted to a single goal. Making him happy will be so much easier than it is for most people! Sakura has gotten pretty good at reading people, and figuring out what they need best to be satisfied, but Sasuke has made it so clear-cut she doesn’t even have to try. She wants to giggle at the relief of it, and settles for a warm smile.

Finally, it’s her turn.

“My name is Sakura Haruno. My hobbies are cooking and shopping and puzzle-solving… my likes are- that is-“ and she shot a blushing glance to her brooding teammate, before continuing, “well, anyways, I dislike people who are disloyal and who give up easy. And my dream… my dream is to protect my precious people above all else.”

Kakashi contemplates his new- and, presumably, soon to be ex- students carefully. Hers is a common enough dream, really. He’d hoped for a more interesting goal from the girl, but he supposed two oddballs was enough for any group.  At least she hadn’t dreamed about having a husband, as he’d been warned about by his fellow jounin as far too common dream amongst the youngsters.

Not that it mattered, since he doubted they had a single chance of passing his test.

  -

As soon as Sakura heard his instructions she struggled with what to do. Two bells, three students- she could try and save herself, but there’s no chance she or Naruto would actually manage to get a bell off a jounin, much less the copy-nin himself. (Mebuki had made sure Sakura new the face, rank, and abilities of every nin in the village- and their chakra signature, if she could manage it. Sakura might’ve found it frustrating as a child, but even then she could understand the important of knowing her potential threats.)

She might be able to talk them into a sacrificial gambit, and in the onslaught, maybe _one_ of them- obviously Sasuke-kun, no need to be polite in her head about abilities when there was a prodigy in their midst- could get the bells, which isn’t the worst idea since at least one of them would still pass, but she’s got an even simplier idea that feels more like the real test.

This version wouldn’t risk any of them getting hurt, so with a heavy heart, she steps into the clearing towards Kakashi- who’s already sent Naruto flying with a, um, _gross_ move, and slowly takes off her headband.

“I concede.” She says, and warms a little at Naruto’s indiginant shouts at her from a watery distance. 

Kakashi raises his eyebrow, skeptical but accepting the headband regardless. “Maa, Sakura-chan, most people try before they fail, you know.”

She turns pink at the words, which he’s probably mistaking for embarrassment but actually comes from the hot rush of anger. She hisses, “There’s only two bells. If I withdraw, the other two can pass.” How dare he insult her for resolving his little test! 

“Mm, so you noticed.”

She held back the urge to roll her eyes, since he could still kill her if he wanted to, training excuse or not. He smiles at her, claps his hands once, and the countdown clock vanishes into smoke.

“One problem- that wasn’t the test.” He informs her, and in a matter of seconds she finds herself stuck four feet into the dirt with only her neck sticking out. She can’t help her small scream at the situation, and Sasuke finally comes out of his hiding place with a flying kick that Kakashi-sensei catches with some annoyance.

“Sasuke-kun, it’s rude to interrupt a conversation. Besides, your test has changed. Naruto! Get out of the lake already!”

The dripping wet, bright orange boy finally manages to bring his bedraggled self to the line up, where he promptly kneels down to check on Sakura. She huffs, blowing a strand of hair out of her face, only for it to fall back in front of her eyes.

“Let me, Sakura-chan!” Naruto exclaimed, pushing the strand back and covering her hair in mud. “Ah, whoops?”

Kakashi cut in before she could start to berate the boy. “Okay, kids, the test has changed. Sakura-chan here has volunteered to withdraw, so you two idiots could pass.”

Sakura wishes she could look down, away from her almost-teammates stares. Instead, she settles for closing her eyes and pretending she’s not there at all.

“Cowards are worthless to shinobi. Since she’s ruined your first test, I’m going to have to get set up a second one. You two eat your lunches- as punishment for being a coward, Sakura doesn’t get to eat. Also, if she wants a chance at earning her spot back, she’ll have to get out her predicament herself, so _no helping._ ” Kakashi instructed, giving Naruto a harsh glance as the boy had already begun to attempt to paw at the earth around Sakura’s head. He whipped his hands back and gave a sheepish grin, the picture of innocence. Kakashi sighed, but said nothing.

As soon as Kakashi left, Sakura’s stomach let out a loud grumble.

“So why’d you quit?” Naruto asked, shoving his food into his mouth in between the words.

Sakura decided keeping her eyes closed was the best option, actually.

“There were only two bells.” She replied.

Then, there was a tomato in her face.

“Uh.”

She looks up as best she can, to see Sasuke glowering at her.

“Uh?” She added, elequantly. He seethed.

“Just eat the food.” He tells her.

She glances down, then back up.

“Um, Sasuke-kun, I can’t really…”

She loved Sasuke, and was absolutely ready to faint over the offer- how daringly romantic! Breaking the rules for her sake!- but she wasn’t _eating food out of his hand_ in love with him, especially when they were probably all covered in tree sap from climbing into his hiding place, and she didn’t exactly have access to her own hands.

He seems to realize his mistake, and turns a pale red, before grabbing the remains of Naruto’s side-rice from him his bento and offering her some of the rice with chopsticks instead, which she gratefully eats, even if she’s pretty sure this is the most embarrassing situation she’d ever been in.

Naruto sets aside his food and goes back to trying, ineffectively, to dig at the dirt around her, before grabbing his kunai and carefully ticking away at the dirt. She even manages to tamp down on her immediate fear at the idea of _Kunai near neck!_ And instead gives him a smile, and a grateful thank you to both her almost-teammates.

With such a bad opinion of her, Kakashi-sensei will never pass her, but at least she can say she failed for the sake of the right boys. She’ll just have to graduate next year, and work extra hard to catch up- maybe she’ll even still try and help Naruto with his Hokage goal, teammate or not. She could use more friends! Sakura haruno was a big believer in brightsides, which is why Kakashi’s sudden return is only slightly a damper on her quickly rising mood.

“You all- Pass!”

See? Brightsides! Just like Kizashi always said, storms bring rain and floods bring fish. She should really listen to her father more often.

She's a little less pleased when he vanishes again without digging her back out, but hey, that's what teammates are for, right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title is indeed a reference to the twilight zone episode, and i'm delighted so many of you made the connection! I thought it was an okay fit, partially because this IS a fic about inspecting how the nin view their jobs and how sakura views her career in particular.... and also because, in the episode, the whole punchline is because of a random low-level decoder woman who was happy to believe the aliens meant well, but was curious and smart and dedicated so she decided to finish decoding the book for the hell of it. Reminded me of Sakura, you know? especially since so many people leave her out of recaps of the ep. 
> 
> anyways! hopefully sakura's clingy over-devotion makes a little more sense in this au, all things considered. 
> 
> also, i think it's funny that this version of sakura is IMMEDIATELY on board with naruto becoming hokage. i'm gonna have some fun with that, definitely. 
> 
> if you could give any of the characters (besides sakura!) a 'powerup' in canon-verse, who would it be? if i wasn't always busy focusing on sakura (lol) i'd probably want to write about a Powerful tenten, since i have a soft spot for semi-civilians with op teammates and she had such clear aspirations. and she was cute!

**Author's Note:**

> starting off with a short introduction to the essentials of my characterization for Mebuki, and the building blocks for this version of Sakura's childhood. I don't want to make her OP or even equally-powered with her (come on, admit it, pretty op) teammates. 
> 
> Since sakura's defining traits in the early series are basically "Shes not traumitized, has parents, and shes the Glue of the Team" i figured I should throw her fully into that role. She's got parents who teach her how to cope with the bizarre child-soldier-magic-fighting world she lives in, and if she's going to have a strong moral compass it should be an interesting one! 
> 
> Seriously, though, she's gonna be a little weird. a lot weird. having a moral compass in the naruto verse essentially means, unless you're straight up a near-god like naruto, that you've just got a clear idea of who you're willing to kill and who you're willing to kill for. 
> 
> ....bonus points if you get what the title is referencing, because i have dumb taste in media and am bad at choosing titles.


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